BrandieBlack.com

My Life – One Word At A Time

Tag: thoughts

This is my wise face

Naive, or Stupid?

Every person, from child to adulthood, makes many mistakes in life that shape them to be the person they become. This is a fact. A lot of those mistakes are hard to deal with at the time, and you beat yourself up over the things you could have done differently or shouldn’t have done at all. As hard as these events are to cope through, it is the reality of life and we can only hope we learn from them.

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Throwing this one in too

What’s Your Google Personality?

Every couple months, there’s a morning when during my coffee and getting my day started on the laptop, I decide to Google myself. Who doesn’t, right?? If you’re  one of those freaks of nature who hasn’t, I suggest you do it right now. But come back after. Seriously.

Anyway. This morning was one of those, I think it’s been at least six months since the last time I did a good ol’ Google search for “Brandie Black”. I always get a kick out of what shows up, because it is either lost pictures of me that my friends posted years ago, old travel pics, business stuff, or just completely strange and random pictures that I have no idea where the relevance lies. Either way, there is always something that surprises you and gives you a good laugh (or cringe – depends). These are some of the images I found…

Ok, Let’s just get the worst over with right now. Worst thing I have ever seen in my life, and my god I had no idea this existed. I just hope I made this face on purpose, but I really can’t be sure…

I remember this night, playing a friends homemade board game that was actually amazing. I assume drinking was involved.

Game night! Darrr

Game night! Darrr

Ok so lots more of these random photos popped up from the same night, thank god a bit more flattering. Well, I don’t look possessed so I am not going to complain.

google8

Rockin’ the bangs hard

Well don’t I just feel American. This little  fancy pie graph came up which I actually think is pretty cool. I have literally never met anyone with the same name and spelling as me, so I guess it’s fun to know they are out there. Primarily in the States. I just realized something, if this is accurate and there are only 75 “Brandie’s” in Canada, that actually pretty awesome. I guess I could look at it from two perspectives… Either I am unique, or if I ever do something wrong, I am really easy to track down. Maybe for now on I will just go by “Sarah”.

FACT.

FACT.

Before I clicked that ‘Search’ button, I was really hoping for one of those blast from the past hilarious moments. And my friends, this is it. I am literally laughing as I am typing this.

So basically, the last time we had a Federal election in Canada, which I think was about 2-3 years ago, my friend Brooke and I were day drinking and heard this incredibly cheesy election commercial on the radio. It was really the epitome of bad advertising. We thought it  was so funny that we decided to re-enact the commercial, but in person, drunk. I only wish I could find the video, but I can’t.

One thing led to another and we were super excited about the awesome video we made, which was actually really funny. We decided to make a Facebook campaign and our own Federal party, called the Party Party. We had our own mandates,  like liquor can be sold everywhere at anytime, pot was legal and we would supply tobacco to minors. We didn’t win the Federal vote. As you may assume, none of this was real, but it really seemed so in our minds.  Only time in my life I have ever cared about politics. Look at those faces, wouldn’t you elect me/us??

Best Google Result in History.

Best Google Result in History.

Since we were on this topic anyway, and apparently  my campaign was more popular than I thought, since all these ‘campaign photos’ showed up, I just had to throw this one in. In order to get the people of Canada to really believe in us, we had to  have proper campaign photos, so it looked professional. I’d say we nailed it. The man to my left was the biggest supporter.  I took a tip from Obama, and used a semi-black citizen, because everyone would trust me then! I realize that sounds racist but it really isn’t, don’t get mad, he was a volunteer. Thanks Chris!

Throwing this one in too

Throwing this one in too

Like I mentioned, there is always some really random and irrelevant things that appear when you Google yourself.  This picture, below, showed up about five times on the first page in Google Images. I know I have posted it on my G+ profile and probably somewhere else too, apparently. I just love funny pictures and now realize, after going through, that I have about 60+ funny pics like this on my drive. I will definitely share these in a future post. Haha squirrel.

And then the randomness...

And then the randomness…

This pic below kind of surprised me. This pic is very recent, from a YouTube video I made and posted for only a few short hours. I decided the quality just wasn’t as good as it could be, so I took it down. The surprising part here is, that it was only posted for a few hours and yet Google managed to index it. Goes to show, be careful with what you post online. I am yet to post the final version, as I am a total perfectionist, but once I master my first YouTube video, I will definitely be hooking that shiz up  to my blog. It should be pretty funny, I will give you a hint as for the content: The top 10 most annoying people on Facebook. I will be a comedian in no time.  Look out, Vegas!

The internet is so clever!

The internet is so clever!

And finally…

Naturally, when I type in my name, this image comes up. Represent.

Obviously.

Obviously.

Of course, I could definitely post about 30 more pictures, but I think this sums up my Google personality. They really didn’t do a bad job, apart from the hugely embarrassing first photo. Luckily for me, I have no shame and don’t mind being seen in this light (which should really just be dark).  This is probably one of the most fun posts I have written thus far. I feel like I just went on a little internet journey, touring the Google museum of myself. Like I said, you should definitely try it sometime, if you haven’t.

I feel it is only right for  those of you who read this, to go Google yourself and let me know what you find, in the comments below. C’mon, I showed you mine, now show me yours. Haha! Ciao

 

 

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A Lesson Never Learned Too Soon

Juggling life here in Europe along with a semi-existence in my home country, Canada, has been anything but easy. Not that I was expecting it to be. I can only hope I wasn’t too naive as per my expectations when I hauled my eight suitcases full of clothes, shoes and bags of makeup I rarely use, along with my sacred laptop.

One of the biggest faults of human race is thinking you can depend on other people. It’s so easy to get dismantled by the friendships, loves and companionships you have with the people you meet and grow with. Our general loving nature as people can often fail us and we go from 100 to zero very fast when we realize ourselves are our only real lifeline. I am sure I am not speaking for the mass population of people out there who keep guarded and safe in their own bubbly space, but I do know there are a lot of people like myself who trust easily. What was that I said about being naive? Yeah, so I guess I am, a little. But I am learning.

love me

As I write this post two things come to mind. A song, and something my parents have always told me. First, the song. And I quote, “The road is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself”. To reminisce on my parents words, “No one will ever look out for you and be there for you, like your parents”. Maybe I should quickly remind myself how lucky I am to actually have parents, especially the type of parents I have. No matter how many times I have made mistakes and not taken valuable advice as an adult, they have never turned a blind eye when I needed them.

The many, many times I have been given this advice, and been burned, I seem to forget it so easily. Then, you find yourself in a moment of weakness, sometimes so unbearable you don’t know how to go on, and you are alone. I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever felt this way, but I have to say, it is one of the worst feelings to be had. Whenever these low points occur, I remember that one song and those wise words I’ve heard many times. But why only now, when it’s often too late and the support systems you had, were never really there?

Most life lessons only come with experience, but sometimes, even with the experience behind you, you fall so easily into the familiar trap. As I learn this lesson yet again, I feel maybe I can be that much smarter going forward, if I write it down in the form of a blog post, sharing it with other people who may find themselves in an all-too-familiar scenario. If you haven’t caught on to the lesson du jour, I will gladly shine the spotlight: Never depend on anyone more than yourself. Or, just simply don’t depend on other people at all, more than you have to, anyway.

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Yes, lets admit there will be many scenarios in our lives where we must depend on others, to some degree. We can’t escape that. But when it comes to situations or things that only really effect you, remember the valuable piece of advice, that you are the only person that has your best interest at heart. Well, you, and your parents, if you are ever so lucky.

This is truly one life lesson you can never learn too soon. The sooner, the better. As I write this, with a million thoughts racing through my head, I feel I may have grown a little bit stronger, a little bit smarter. Of course, only time will tell, as with time, comes knowledge and your true strength and understanding of life shine through. This article definitely holds a much different tone than what I have written about so far, but I believe strongly enough in the cause. I end this with a silent cheers to each and everyone one of you, a cheers in you, because you are stronger than any external force.

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Coffee and Cigarettes

So, If you saw my Facebook update yesterday, then you would have known that I was stuck at an outdoor (but covered) cafe here in Barcelona while they had an epic shit-of-a rainstorm. I was literally five minutes from home but considering I was wearing suede flats, I thought it may be a good idea to stay in shelter while the rain calmed down. I guess I just didn’t think I needed to own rubber boots anymore after I left London for Spain *Go figure*.

Not even drinking coffee but w.e

Not even drinking coffee but w.e

 

ANYWAY, I luckily had my oh-so awesome Mac-imitation, known as the Google Chromebook, so I could at least do some work while waiting for the rain to steady. Like many other Tweeters this week, my account got hacked and I had to change like 65 passwords, so although I wrote my blog for the day, yesterday, I figured I would write more since the only password  I had was for this blog. Depressed by the weather (which is normally hot and sunny), my brain was lacking the creative skills to come up with something to write about. Which brings me back to the first sentence of this post. I went to Facebook and asked my friends if they had any ideas for what I should write about. The helpful peeps Andy and Melissa gave me two ideas: Coffee and potatoes. Totally random, but to be honest this blog so far has been totally random, so it’s suitable. If the title didn’t give it away, today I have decided to talk about…  Coffee!

And what goes better with coffee? Cigarettes! I am definitely painting that picture of myself being a starving, eccentric artist who hangs out in coffee houses all day, pretending to write prolific things on their laptop. The word “Hipster” comes to mind. I wouldn’t describe myself as a hipster, but I think they’re cool, I guess.

Har-har

Har-har

I really don’t know anything about coffee. Well, maybe.  Off the top of my head, this is what I (think I) know:

Coffee is a delightful hot beverage that provokes the image of either pretentious hipster/artist posers, classy French women or old men in vintage caps playing dominoes. I’m sort of kidding. I know I probably drink too much of it, as I am glued to a screen and reaching, unknowingly, for the grip of that porcelain mug (Omg, am I one of those pretentious posers??). I know that in North America, our coffee’s are way too big and in Europe, they are sometimes too small. In Canada, if your favorite coffee isn’t from Tim Hortons, then they will revoke your passport. Coffee generally gives you bad breath, and if you drink too much, your hands will shake.

The classic line you say to your mates, “Want to grab a coffee after work?” is always code for “Let’s have a beer/wine after work, and if we go home drunk as f*%k, let’s also grab a kebab”. Coffee is also a great excuse to get out of going somewhere or doing something – “I can’t. I drank too much coffee and have diarrhea”. Ok, I have never used that, but I am sure it’s a good bail line. Hmmm. I think mass chain coffee places, like Starbucks, seriously suck and I refuse to go there. Here in Barcelona, or EU in general, there are so many quaint cafe’s that are family-owned, unique and authentic, why would you ever want to go to Starbucks? Plus, they limit you to 45 minutes internet usage and their shitty coffee is overpriced (Wow, I sound like one of ‘them’).

Lastly, coffee utterly accents cigarette smoking (dahling) .

Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner

Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner

After some time now scanning my memory bank for knowledge on le cafe, I think this is all I can come up with. I really hope you weren’t expecting educational material here, if you were, I’m sorry.  I guess the best way to describe this post is coffee from Brandie’s perspective, which hopefully some of you can also relate to. If you are actually interested in educating yourself about coffee, check out this infographic sent by Andy.

Alright, my mission here is done. I have to get back to ordering my 6th coffee while listening to a band you have never heard of, writing about things you would just never understand.

Exactly.

Exactly.

 

 

True dat!

Beach Body? I Call B.S!

This morning while having my morning coffee and browsing some of my favorite blogs, I came across a really interesting article by a very cool woman. She was discussing a very “hot” topic at the moment – beach bodies. Of course, because we are coming into the season of sun, beaches and hot weather, many women (admittedly, myself included) are eating less and moving more in order to get into that “perfect shape”.

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Yep, let’s buy little girls Barbie dolls..

Now, let me start by saying I really do enjoy the exercise I choose to do. Fitness aside, it reduces my stress levels, makes me more productive with work and just generally makes me feel better. I think it’s really important to stay healthy, by eating well, doing yoga, running, whatever it is you like to do. I wanted to make this point clear before I continue.

HOWEVER – After reading this article, I had a serious change of heart when it came to this rather silly term that is used so much this time of year. And you know what term I’m talking about. Beach body. Bikini body. One in the same. I will foolishly admit I have probably used this term many times, without even thinking. I really applaud the young woman who wrote that article, because I really believe her post made me just a little bit wiser.

The article makes some very obvious points, but since our society is a mass group of followers, we don’t really get it until someone spells it out for us. How can one really define “beach body”? Basically what society tells us, is that a beach body is a perfectly curved (or lack thereof), toned, bronzed body that you must work very hard to attain,  especially for that hot, glorious time of year. A perfect picture is painted for us and if we don’t fit that outline, we simply don’t belong or deserve to be on a beach. When you think about, that is really exactly what they are saying with the mass use of this term. And seriously, what kind of shit is that?

Worth a good laugh!

Worth a good laugh!

I feel so incredibly moronic for supporting this notion of a “beach body”, whether that be reading an article about how to get one, using the term, whatever. It is just such an asinine concept to support.  Maybe I am being too harsh on myself, because to  be honest, I don’t think I have ever been too consumed  with this idea. The main reason this article I read hit home, so to say, is because I wrote an article just a few weeks ago titled “The Summer Diet for Liquor-Loving Women”. Now, this article was really supposed to be funny while giving some serious tips on how to live healthy during the summer months of drinking excessively. After reviewing it, I am happy to know I did not use the term “beach body” although I feel I may have referred to it. Because of that, I wanted to write a follow-up article outlining my feelings on this topic (now that I have been enlightened) and re-assure anyone reading, that I really don’t support this. I was happy to read at the end of my article that I actually conclude with, to quote myself, “Furthermore, summer is meant to enjoy so don’t stress about having the best bikini bod on the beach, just stay healthy and drunk, and you will have a kick ass time!”

And I stand by this. Just imagine how boring and mutant-like it would be if you were sitting on a beach, and everyone looked the same. That’s just weird. And when you think about it, that is exactly what the media/society is suggesting we do. Luckily, reality is that it will never be like that, as it shouldn’t. We are all unique and have our own special qualities. Some have red hair, some have blonde. Green eyes, brown eyes. Short, tall. Size 4, size 14. Let’s quit it with judging people and comparing them to ourselves, like a famous line I once heard, “The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with ourselves”.

I will conclude this article by giving a thanks to the author of that eye-opening article  I read this morning. She really gave me a new perspective on something really important, with her words, and what a gift that is. Hopefully I have done the same for whoever reads this. I hope to see all y’all peeps on the beach this summer, flaunting what yo mama gave ya! I surely will be, and if you see me, stop by and say “Hi”, because  I will most likely have some wine or cava to share. After all, “you already have a beach body. All it needs is the beach.”

True dat!

True dat!

Long Hair… Don’t Care?

Just a normal day. Like every other day. Getting ready to go out, go to the cafe, go shopping, buy a naughty costume, drink six jugs of sangria, ya know, whatever it is you like to do.

And then it happens. Just a complete day ruiner. No, I am not talking about the time your dollar store lighter stops working.

I’m talking about when…You get your purse stuck in your hair. Yep. I really hate that, but, you know what they say, right? Long Hair, Don’t Care!

barcelona fail

Don’t Panic

If you’re anything like me, then this has happened to you. You may not have told anyone and struggled to free yourself. I know, I’ve been there. I am glad you found this random article on the internetz. Because now, you will never struggle again.

This is what you do…

1. Don’t Panic, Stand still

2. Take a funny picture (Make fun of yourself first before anyone else can)

3. Make your sister, ( Or boyfriend, aunt, friend, dare I say, neighbour, whoever) to get it out for you

4. You’re free

So next time this happens to you, don’t fret, it’s all a part of being awesome, with long hair. Don’t let a little issue like this cramp your style. Because, you know…

Long Hair, Don’t Care!

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